So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
