What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
