Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
