if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
