All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think my mom watched the whole time
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
