I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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