Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
