Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize