A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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