I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
