Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
