You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
