i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would fuck him just for his dog
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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