Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
