My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
