but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Congratulations! We have a period
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
