get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize