So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
