We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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