we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
