If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
