Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
