8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
