i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
