he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
a search helicopter?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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