I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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