question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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