YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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