i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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