Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
