You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
