I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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