she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
