you would pick up someone in the library
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize