hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
