I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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