i just had sex bonerless
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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