yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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