Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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