i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
