Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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