yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
