Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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