my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
