I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize