Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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