happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
