Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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