are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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