Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
