You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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