Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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