theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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