Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize