I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
