Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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