i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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