Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
