I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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